So much for my 12 stone at Christmas dream! The scales have stood still since Monday, so I realised yesterday it was time to call it a day and go in search of mince pies. There’s nothing more infuriating than when the numbers refuse to move on the scales, especially if you’ve set yourself a target, which makes me think – is there any point setting targets? Is it better just to take one day at a time and see what happens? Anyway, I have decided to try and put my weight-crazy aside for the next few days, and just enjoy everything that Christmas brings – i.e. food. I have finished the year at 12st 5.5, which is more than I wanted, and 1.5lb more than last year; but I guess that’s not bad for a year in which I’ve been trying to wean myself off attending a slimming group every week, and wean myself onto living life as a normal person. Normal people put on weight after a period of excess, then take it off again when they return to normal eating. This is what I’ve been trying to emulate! Hopefully 2013 will be a year of normality in this sense. And hopefully, at some stage, I will breach the elusive twelve stone barrier – one day at a time though. As long as I can keep a lid on the German Biscuit / Reisen cravings, I should do ok.
I had a typical hissy fit yesterday when I saw the scales in their frozen state, but to be honest, I’m sick of having hissy fits over my weight. Or over how I think I look like a fat bastard because I weigh a pound heavier than I did last week. This type of angst is a huge waste of energy and time, and very insignificant when you compare it to the real pains that everyone around us goes through on a daily basis in private – not whining about it on a blog or on Twitter/Facebook. Things could be a hell of a lot worse for me, and I bet there are lots of severely overweight people who would be overjoyed if their only problem was some loose skin on their stomach. Turning 30 has gifted me some wisdom and perspective, but not enough to tear myself away from the mirror, or to stop myself absent-mindedly pinching my love handles to feel how far they stick out (not a lie). So to those of you who are weight-obsessed, fuck up and enjoy yourself. Your health is your wealth, and your friends and family couldn’t care less about how your Christmas jumper sits around your muffin top, as long as you’re fit to eat your turkey. And for those of you who feel trapped inside a body you don’t like, use this coming New Year to make the change. Be honest with yourself about your eating, and start making plans now about what the best way is to tackle it. It’s not your fault that your body responds the way it does, but you need to take responsibility. So when it’s December 2013 and you’ve lost three, four, five stone (or more), you can stand back and know its been all your own work; and nobody can take that away from you. You just have to try.
That’s enough gay motivational nonsense for today. I have a party to throw tonight, and the turkey won’t stuff itself!
Merry Christmas Slimming Worlders and fellow runners!
BigFatMarathon 